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There are many things I wish I had been able to do before getting to Burkina. Getting a hold on the French language is certainly at the top of the list, but as I get deeper into my sector, Girls Education and Empowerment, I really wish I had more historical knowledge on civil/women/human rights movements around the world. The thing about living and learning in another culture with TWO languages necessary to learn, is that EVERYTHING takes time. For example, It was only two weeks ago that I learned that the oldest brother in my old host family has two wives. This is after living with the family for three months, being best friends with his brother AND helping his (second) wife with her child.

So I guess it is not too shocking that it has taken me 5 months to realize the FULL extent of my counterpart’s sexism.  Sitting around drinking tea with 5 French speaking men (all except one is either a nurse or a teacher), the conversation turned to the role of women. However, I made a terrible mistake by asking what exactly was the reason history brought women to this point? Why was it not US who suppressed men? BIG MISTAKE!! All 5 men took turns explaining how and why women are less than, weaker, and put on this earth to serve men. I was talking with Christians, Muslims and animists, all who referred to their GOD or creator or nature to explain my inferior place. What killed me was that there was no hesitation to speak such sexism.

As I was preparing for International Women’s Day celebrations with 3eme girls, the wheels in my (less than intelligent?) brain started turning and things started to click. Again, I wish I had more knowledge on how women’s rights movements have started. I know that in England and the US, women started fighting for equality AFTER fighting side by side men to end slavery. Did any movement ever start because a more powerful, richer force demanded the inequality be addressed? Was any movement lead by ‘non-believers’?  To my knowledge, the KKK attempted to oppress civil rights and certainly was not part of helping African-Americans gain equal standing. So, why does anyone think sexist, powerful men are going to liberate Burkina Faso’s women? Does anyone else see the problem with a sexist man working for Girls Education and Empowerment?

The International community and the West often have good intentions. Certainly women’s rights and girls’ education is necessary, a fundamental right and needs to be addressed. Burkina Faso is one of the world’s worst offenders on women’s rights, with the lowest women’s literacy rights and at a time, one of the lowest school enrollment rates for girls. The amount of women involved in the formal economy is disgustingly low.  BUT what I have sensed out the past 8 months is that GEE is an international incentive that is making funds available to anyone in countries such as Burkina who is working to help improve gender equality. This is all wonderful and good BUT who has access to getting international funding in a country such as Burkina?  MEN!! Men are getting rich and important in the name of WOMEN and GIRLS. Hmm…

As an outsider, I am bringing the idea of GEE, question gender roles and promote equality in a country that is not mine. Is that how civil/human rights movements work?? Because really, honestly, I feel that it takes a rebel who is part of the culture to lead a movement. Is this just a way for sexist men and the few women to get rich off the international community? Are Burkina’s women ready to stand up and fight? Is this outside initiative going to do more harm to women here?

Now, these are questions, not statements. I do not know. I do recognize that the sexist, rich man who runs an organization is building schools so more girls are getting educated. I do recognize that some of the money, some of the rights talk will do good and improve lives. But I am seeing and hearing lip service, certainly not a women’s movement. How is this empowering? A man built a school that was funded by the West? What message does that send? Where are the women of Burkina who are going to challenge this society? They are here. They are getting victimized because they dare to talk about sexual abuse. They are here but are they getting more suppressed by ‘good-doers’ such as myself, who may be allowing the inherent sexist organization and mentality to continue even in the name of gender rights?

And seriously, does anyone else have a problem that women, half of this world’s population, are granted ONE day (March 8th)?

Why is it that in America, December is monopolized by Christmas when it is one of the most diverse months for celebrations? Really, there are Muslim, Jewish and Christian holidays; not to mention the universal celebration of New Year’s Eve, and multiple countries’ Independence Days. Burkina’s Independence Day was on December 10th and though it passed in Tangaye as just another day, there was a massive celebration in Fada (a city in the Eastern part of Burkina). Each year, a different city in the country hosts the celebration and next year the party will be in OHG. I have a feeling that it still will not really make much of a difference to most of my friends in Tangaye.

Anyway, back to the celebrations. Christmas is not Christmas when you are not around the hype, Christians, or your family. But food for thought- the price of my Christmas Eve meal will feed a whole quartier (like a whole extended, extended family) the next day. hmm… And now that I think about it; a larger, more well-balanced meal.

ANOTHER fête this month took place in the grand quartier, when the grandfather returned from Mecca.  This is huge. Check the prices of plane tickets to Mecca and then check the average income for a Burkinabé.  So, there were meetings, matching pagnes, new houses built, cows bought to slaughter…. the works. And this was no one day affair; after staying up all night, the dancing resumed the next afternoon. And it was beautiful.

I do have to say that it has been a very exciting, interesting and educational month for me. You know you are integrated (whatever that means) when you start to have family drama as well as family obligations you wish you could get out of, like greeting the grand family EVERY morning. However, for the children…. not so much learning. Amidst the parties, I believe there was a week and a half of school for at least some kids. Fêtes are good but education is better…

Side note: I also learned this month that nobody owns land in Tangaye.  There is a ‘chief de terre’ (Chief of the land) and when someone wants to build or cultivate on a piece of land, they must get permission from the Chief. AND there are no taxes in Tangaye. This may sound wonderful to all of you who vote for lower taxes but really to me it demonstrated how deep the level of poverty exists here. There is no local economy. How can anyone do anything without any economy? There is such little money to be circulated and yet the people of Tangaye are expected to work as volunteers to develop their village?  I do not get it???  Doesn’t paid labor create economy????

I WILL BE RETURNING TO THE EAST COAST FROM JAN. 15TH-FEB. 11TH.  IF YOU KNOW ANY GROUP OR ORGANIZATION THAT IS INTERESTED IN HEARING ME SPEAK ABOUT MY EXPERIENCE IN BURKINA FASO, PLEASE CONTACT ME!  THANK YOU AND HAPPY HOLIDAYS.

• Two 10 year old girls hand-washing your WORST underwear, the ones you deny even owning, and then hanging them to dry on the fence that EVERYONE in the community walks by!
• While you are deep in thought about what language is spoken in Afghanistan, while taking your morning bucket bath, a sheep enters and watches you!
• While you are singing out loud to your MP3 player under a tree, the children you were hoping to escape start laughing at you as they circle and stare like you are a zoo animal!
• In a country where the BIGGEST NO-NO is to eat with your left (dirty) hand, you eat with your left hand- in front of EVERYONE!
• When you attempt to hand-wash your clothes a small crowd gathers, and then when you place a shirt in the ‘rinse’ bucket, they point, laugh, say ‘pas bon’ and hand you back the shirt to re-wash.  Finally, they push you aside to wash YOUR clothes the “right” way.
• When you declare you are “here to help,” you get a stare that says “you’re crazy” and a response… “but you can not speak the language…???”
• Your ‘bathroom’ is merely a hole the size of the top of a paint can.  The days you ‘make’ it- a small celebration takes place.
• Everyday you are called “Whitie” in Moore or French (take your pick) until your host family tells you, you are not really white but red (Two words- IT’S HOT)!
• While riding your bike, you fall completely into a huge, deep mud puddle because you did not exactly follow the route of the boy trying to help you.  Though you are soaked, at least the people in the fields get a good laugh!
• And then imagine… going to a baptism at the RICHEST guy’s house- in your WORST outfit… while everyone else is dressed to the nines….. !

So anytime you are having a hard day or are stressed out, just think, you COULD have become suddenly stupid in Burkina Faso!!!!!!!!!!!!

After 4 months of pondering and avoiding making the effort to post some pictures on this blog, I have decided to keep this a “picture-free” blog.  I know this is a disappoint to the curious and to my blogger friends but there is a reason besides the fact that it is time consuming.

The majority of my photos (and my reality) are my friends and the families I live with.  While I can not wait to introduce my friends and family back home to those I live and work with (and generally help me retain some sanity), I feel HIGHLY uncomfortable placing their faces on this blog.  Not necessarily because they would mind or be angry with me, but because most of my friends here do not have access to a computer.  It is not like I can “tag” them on a picture to share it with them.  Most of the people in my villages are not familiar with email much less blogs.  So why should I place a photo of someone who will never see it in the context?

Shortly into this experience I read Susan Sontag’s “Regarding the Pain of Others.” While this important contribution to photographic journalism is more in the context of war, it has allowed me to further formulate my thoughts on why I have been so hesitant to post my photos.  There will always be a debate on the owner of a photo- the person in front of the camera or the person behind the camera.  It is easy to unknowingly exploit suffering, a culture or a person with a photo.  How would my photos on this blog further empower my friends in Burkina?  Most likely, it simply would not.  Their lives would continue as is, with most viewers of this blog never learning the name of the person in the photo.

I make no judgments when photos are used on others’ blogs.  There is a certain educational and curiosity value to the practice, but for me… I am just not that comfortable with it.  Sorry!

This blog is certainly not winning any Peace Corps awards. I’m a miserable blogger.  And ever since moving to my village, I have not been able to compose a decent blog.  What can I possibly write about that is not too personal (unlike most in my generation, I am highly uncomfortable with strangers knowing my personal thoughts) or too serious (this blog is dry enough)?  I considered starting writing ‘informational’ things about my reality but I do not trust the facts in my head enough not to misrepresent something and there are no research databases in village.  So…

For now some advice: NEVER come to Burkina if you can not handle heat (I mean OVEN temps), children or carbs…. and a lot of ALL.  And do not visit if you would rather not confront your conscious about inequality.  But please come on over if you have any idea how to end poverty, cure the sick or solve educational inequality.  Or if you would just like to put some money into the Burkina economy by visiting a rad chick.

Who goes to live in an African village and has nothing to write about?  Well, I am certainly “inappropriate technology” for this country, to use development terms.  Guess I sort-of knew that going into this P.C. thing.  I justify with the fact that I hope to continue to work with my village after Peace Corps.  The Peace Corps justifies it with the line “cultural exchange.”

P.S.- If anyone has any type of proof or research that demonstrates “cultural exchange” as a proven method of reducing inequality and poverty, PLEASE send me the link.

Most days the awareness of the poverty is, hmm… lets say “manageable.” There is enough laughter- like for example, watching three children repeatedly attempt to build a bench to sit- that always breaks within a matter of seconds.  Trés drôle!! Laughter is an effective remedy.

Other days…. well, your heart breaks and anger boils.  And you laugh harder to keep the tears inside because of the children surrounding you.

Some days, everything builds. From the beginning of the day- REALLY noticing the swollen bellies.  And then thinking of the food in your house.  How come I have to manage my food intake in a country where 2 in every 5 children are malnourished?  But yet if I gave all my food, it would feed the 17 kids in my courtyard, for a meal.  What is the solution to this inequality that I perpetrate?

And then it is the French nursing student, after examining an infected bike wound on an 8 year old boy, asking why the wound is not covered.  It is his face when you tell him the reality that there is no money for clean bandages.  And then the all too common conversation with the older men who wants to be taken to America because Burkina is ‘pas bon’.

Sometimes it just hits you….  Because inequality, suffering, is unnecessary and unfair.

Being in the midst of it, what do you do? I am not a doctor, so after cleaning and covering my young friend’s wound, when a women asked for help with her swollen cheek, I am of no help.  I continue to be over-fed surrounded by malnourishment.  I share but it is certainly not the solution.  I have not been taught Moore therefore I can not communicate with those I live with. And my French is bad enough that I do not serve as much of a teacher. Even if I gave all the money I had to my host sister- she still would not receive a quality education.

This is the reality. Some days it is difficult but not disempowering.  There are solutions and methods to work toward equality. But with each day I spend ‘integrating’ (aka- reading, writing, smiling and laughing) another burinkabè becomes too old or sick to benefit from future solutions.

There is a lot of pressure on a Peace Corp Volunteer/Trainee.  While the life is pretty chill, actually - Lots of sleep, money provided, no schedules or ‘must-do’ lists,  but it seems we are constantly watched.  I am not talking about the curious children that surround us each night, but by our peers here and loved ones back home.

“Will he/she make it the two years? Do you think he/she will ET (Early Termination)?”  We know this is asked about us because we ask it (regularly) about each other.  I am willing to place money that each volunteer was asked at least once prior to leaving the States, “Can you handle Africa?” My group even has made a shirt saying, “Don’t ET, Phone Home.” Cute, very cute and witty.  But troublesome for me… here is why: (I apologize in advance for my habit of critically analyzing my perception of reality.  I realize this makes few friends).

This mentality seems to turn Peace Corps service into a notch in the belt - for those who can ‘cut it’ and successfully ‘grin and bear’ two years in a poor country.  Peace Corps Service should not be looked at as a contest to be won, to see who can handle having the lit end of a cigar burnt into their skin the longest.  Is this what this resume building activity has become, or always has been?

The superficial sacrifices are important and should not be completely dismissed.  But in my humble opinion, the three months of training and living with a host family should be a reflection on SHOULD I, as a white, middle class privileged American, be here?  Do I have a right to be here?  What effects/consequences are there from me being here, both personally and professionally?  Would I better serve in my own culture? Etc, Etc.

Lucky for me I can afford to phone home (even fly home mid-service or for an important event), go to the five star hotel (with a pool) and get a hamburger - I even hear that there are milkshakes in Ouaga.  AND never, never underestimate the value of a care package.  These accesses to privilege make the ‘ability’ to do Peace Corps quite easier.  I believe few volunteers/trainees ET not because they can NOT do Peace Corps but because they CHOOSE not to.

I often remind myself that there are multiple motives and values for doing Peace Corps service.  This is important to recognize in order for my peers and I to understand, interaction and forgive each other.  But the understanding seems to end when the Peace Corps seizes to serve the motives, values, or needs of a person.

Judgement follows ET.  From peers in-country and loved ones.  It seems to me that more courage and honesty is needed to ET than to service in Peace Corps.  Perhaps instead, the more important issue is for each us is to ask if we are wanted/needed in our communities.  If I feel the Peace Corps is imperialist should I complete my service to save face? What about the young 20-something that discovers that he/she is unable/unwilling to break down the barrier of privilege in order to develop an understanding and respectful relationship within his/her host community?  And what if a moment of clarity tells one of us that our talents are better used to be part of a social change in America or to tend to a sick loved one?  How much character (and pride, self-esteem) will one lose if such honesty is followed by a decision to ET?

If you are starting to judge me, don’t worry, I have no thoughts of ETing… as of now.  Personally, i do not doubt that I “can’t” do this- I did not come to Africa to prove my ‘toughness’  at roughing it.  But I have many thoughts on if I should be here- not at a personal level necessarily but as a guest in Burkina.  As a privileged American (a country with important tendencies), as a ‘development worker’.  In keeping true to my desire to be part of the solution (and what that really looks like).

So many questions, so few answers.  So little language skills to help me listen.  Patience is my personal lesson.  I trust that time will show me where my community is and how I can work in solidarity, side by side, as equals.  And if this is possible as a Peace Corps member.

*Disclaimer: Terms, numbers, facts, and spelling may be incorrect - These posts are often written by kerosene lamp without access to references. If you notice a mistake, please comment.
I believe in dialogue - comments and conversation are valuable to me!! So if you have thoughts - please voice them!!!

Burkina has made the news- Washington Post, Front page.  Not only that but the WOMEN of Burkina made the U.S. news.  Shit is getting worse, finally Burkinabe women are worthy of a news story.  The article (I encourage you to read it, click the link) is mainly highlighting the realities of the WORLD food crisis.  It was interesting to read, having observed this culture for a couple months.  First- Burkinabe eat with their hands- rich or poor.  Why this bothered me, I do not know.  I wanted to clarify that culture should not be confused with poverty (or visa versa).  A western journalist, through their culture lens, and limited knowledge on the subject, can understandable misrepresent observations.  But this article, based on my limited insight, is pretty accurate.  Prices are doubling, tripling in this country, where unemployment is 77%.  One of my language teachers told us that rice went from 12.50 for 50kg to 20.00, Gas was at 550 is now 1350 and 100kg of corn is 15.00 when it used to be available for 10.00.  This is drastic.  Especially since work is not available.  Parents are pressured to “realize” the value of educating their children- which is NOT cheap.  But my host brother who after this year will have been educated for TWICE as long as his older cousin, will be in the exact same position- unemployment. The young men/older boys are hanging in the villages helping in the fields because there is no work in the cities, which means less money for the entire family.  Not only is this a problem for the obvious reasons but where is the argument for education?  If the uneducated child is going to be in the same position as the semi-educated child (FYI- the majority of village children only complete the eventually of a 10th grade education), why spend the money?  Hmm, reasonable question. Any thoughts?

Tangaye is going to be my home in Burkina Faso come September. It is a medium size village 15 km outside of Ouahigouya. There is a small local hospital, primary school, town hall, and small store in the village. Ouahigouya will be the closest town to me that has a market with fresh food, electricity and internet, and cold drinks. I am “opening up” a new site meaning I am the first Peace Corps Volunteer to live in this village (and the first American as well). The Peace Corps found this village while touring around the area for a new site. It was the only village to agree to build a house for a volunteer. This is the reason I will call Tangaye home. I am not sure how I feel about this “strategy” to identifying ‘motivated’ villages.

I spent three days in Tangaye. I visited all the important people and places. My impressions are minimal- My judgments will start in September….

It has taken me about 4 to 5 weeks to figure out the “family structure”- in the way that makes sense to my western mind- If I had (or ever do have) the time I will make a family chart like the one my host brother and I made. I can not say enough about the women of Burkina, who are AMAZING!!! From when they are 5- taking care of the infants and cultivating to when they are 12- fetching water, cultivating (with the men), cooking, cleaning and going to school (if they are lucky). Then around 15 until perhaps 18 for village women- they are married off- usually arranged marriages and start having children. My host mother has eight children. The WHO average is 6.7 children for a burkinade women. Most village women I have met have 5-7 children (or are still young and having children). Educated women living in the cities seem to have less, probably the average is around 3 children. The older men have an average of two wives according to my brother. But many of the younger men have (or want) one wife and fewer children. My host brothers say they want 3 children because children are expensive. And it is expensive to educate a child here in Burkina. So I have met the superwomen of Burkina. Oh and please do not forget that 77% of women have undergone FGM/C but I will not talk about it much because I have not heard or witnessed it. It is not talked about but I am told by my language teacher that most girls have undergone it in my village. I will be lucky if I am able to talk about it with anyone during my two years. It is forbidden in Burkina by law.


I do have to gave a hand to the men. They are superhuman as well. Especially some who seem to always be working and then looking after me. The hierarchy system in the family structure is very apparent. Everyone has a place and knows it. The men get my extra food. The children get the less nutritious food. Certain men work harder, others have better clothes and always seem to be chilling. The older men do not seem to cultivate as much. The boys that go to school are the favorite (and also the bullies) of the kids. The hierarchy even determines who will get my gifts in the end. (I try to be sneaky and let the ‘less’ favorite ones play before the word gets out.) Also if certain people are in my courtyard others will not come in. Women and girls are always against the wall, but this is difficult to analyze as the language barrier may contribute to this.


But every human is human and every human has his/her own personality and spirit. My relationships with my host family is my escape from the stress of learning how to live in a francophone country as a Peace Corps Volunteer. I hope I feel this comfortable in my new village and can build similar relationships.